Attending the premier for "The Last Stand" was the suggestion of a former colleague, Pam, who thought we had snuck off to the "Access Hollywood" filming without her. She caught me off-guard, because I was like "Dude, of course not... Wait, what time was it?... CRAP!"
So it was Hollywood or bust. And there in Hollywood, we stood for three hours. And there in Hollywood, I nearly gave up... Supporting actor, Johnny Knoxville, had yet to make an appearance and Jamie Alexander and Rodrigo (last name ???), two individuals I have zero interest in, headed straight to the press section anyways, totally ignoring the stuffed fan bullpen that contained me.
I admitted to Pam I just wanted to bail, but despite the fact that she too was catching hypothermia, she put up a good fight. "But he's your dad's favorite" she argued with me; "But I'm stupidly wearing ballet flats and I'm cooolllld" I'd whine back. She gave me one convincing argument: "Look. Two cars are pulling up. That could be Johnny Knoxville and Arnold. If it's not, we leave".
Car One opened their doors. Out popped nobody special. "It's NOT Johnny Knoxville!" I began to pack it up, as Car Two pulled forward. All of a sudden, people were going wild.
"Arnold?" I hadn't even gotten confirmation before I climbed onto the barricade, screaming "Arrrrnold!!!I I LOOOVE you!"
AND, like the class act that he was, Mr. Schwarzenegger about-faced from the paparazzi and made a beeline for the block-long, caged-off fan frenzy. He started at one end. I prayed he wouldn't just say a few hello's, give a few autographs, that the lucky people forty feet away from me wouldn't be the only people to have an up-close-and-personal moment with Arnie...
SCORE! He turned and headed along the barricade. Shaking hands. Signing autographs. A true politician, indeed. I was part of the mob who managed to snap a few blurry photos and miss-his-hand-BUT-grab-his-sleeve, YEAH!, I flippin' touched the man.... I TOUCHED ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER! ... And then, I made a mad dash for the warmth of my car.
I will never go to a movie premiere again. It was cold. People were squishing me. I was really bored, and sometimes frightened by the fake Johnny Depps (yes, two of them). "The Grove" better get their act together pronto, in case someone else I love needs to do some promoting... but... ARNOLD. I touched ARNOLD. Booyah!